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BUBBLES' BANTER ARCHIVE
 
5 April 2009: THE BRIDE HANDICAP
 
Once upon a time, long ago, there was a race called "The Bride Handicap". It was looked upon as one of the biggest fish and chippers in the Manx calendar. It was once glittered with spuds and choppers! But, that was then. Now we have a road race that can boast the fastest man in the world, along with many other future stars. Many are already at GB National level. The Peleton had it all, a mixture of World class, British class, old school, future stars and a few Manx 'hotties' to keep the lads happy! It was a winning recipe and this is why it is now one of the best races
in the Manx calendar. One to be proud of winning. Make no mistake, Cav is a born winner and he was there to win and not there for a Sunday stroll or to make up the numbers! He likes to hurt a little!

The first group had the race underway. It consisted of many newcomers, including Floyd Wilson. He was one of the lucky lads to be landed with the ladies! For many of them it was their first race, my respect goes out to all of them. (You've got my number!)  One of my 'chick' informants told me that this group worked well together and they kept to the job in hand and there was no flirting whilst they were racing! It has been noted that Mickey Grose was very strong. This group managed to stay clear of the second group.

The second group consisted of some of cycling's up and coming whipper snappers! They missed the absence of experienced legends Hinds and Curphy (although their names were on the start sheet). They had their excuses!  Rumours were circulating that Minty from East Enders was with us. Further investigation revealed it was actually Posse member Andy 'Assos' Howland and everyone in cycling would like to welcome him back.

It was the scratch group, consisting mainly of the Posse that was making the most ground. The super scratch group thought their job of mopping up the Posse was a formality, but I think they all underestimated the powers of the Posse train! The Posse powerhouse was at full cry and could boast the super scratch group had only added 20 seconds to them on the first lap. After 2 laps the Posse train had mopped up the experienced group 3! Livesey seemed the form rider as Bubbles, Kirkwood and (biker style bandit) Ronan O'Toole, started missing turns as the pace picked up. On lap 3 the scratch group already had the first group, including the ladies, in their grasp, . Maybe it was just coincidence, but on passing the ladies, Livesey went on a 'purple patch', probably fuelled by testosterone,as he did a 5 minute drill on the front of the peleton! It was a possible attempt to impress the girls!

The race was now falling into the hands of the scratch group (mainly Posse)and this peleton was getting bigger and stronger. Gavin 'The Tester' Quayle, Peter Doyle and Johnny Cregeen, added to the woes of the depleting super scratch group all giving good turns. It was noted that Joe Kelly did a few efforts at the front, giving his later attack much more credibility. Such was the pace of Cavendish, he was starting to be the victim of his own powers. By lap 2 Dooley, Nicholson and "back from illness" Hatcher, all became casualties. Warren and Kennaugh were very strong and at their immense best and did not miss a turn along with Cavendish as they tried to hunt down their prey! The end of lap 2 saw the departure of sprint ace Whorral. At this point the depleted super scratch group must have known their fate and it was virtually game over.

It all started getting a bit 'cagie' on the last lap leading up to Bride Hill, as everyone knew the winner was coming from this peleton. As we hit Bride Hill it was Kelly and Cregeen who attacked first, a few moments later Thomas Mazzone appeared from nowhere like a ghost in an attempt to pull back Cregeen and Kelly. However, Mazzone pulled back Cregeen and brought with him the peleton, but Kelly had kicked again and was now on a solo break for the line. I don't think the Posse gave Kelly enough respect and naturally thought he would die and it would all end up in a mass bunch gallop. He was left hung out to dry, however Kelly dug deep and kept the chasing peleton at bay. There was no organisation what so ever and each Posse member had only interests for themselves. I'm sure if Big Dave had been in the peleton he would not have allowed this move to succeed and would probably have taken Van Gadger to the line for victory. However, Kelly held on and took the race by 10 seconds in what was a super move that took the Posse by surprise and gave the young lad a superb win. Respect goes to Joe Kelly. Bubbles showed no mercy in taking the gallop after missing several turns earlier on in the race to take second ahead of the unlucky 'Top Monty' Bellhouse who could not buy a bunch sprint for love nor money on the Bride circuit. However the champagne was his, as he took the vets prize in front of his two biggest fans! Van Gadger took fourth and it seemed certain James Smetton would take fifth, but Kirkwood who was on Bubbles' wheel also showed no mercy on Smetton, even though Smetton had not missed a turn all day, to take a cheeky fifth right on the line. Peter Doyle was also there at the finish and took a fine seventh. Livesey went bang in a big way on Bride Hill paying big time for his earlier efforts. Thomas Mazzone was first juvenile home and Laura Wasley managed to be first lady home after managing to stay with the Posse peleton for a few miles and then she stayed away from the other ladies with the help of the ever improving Floyd Wilson.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
 
   
 

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